3 Rules for Dealing with Trolls

By Derek Neighbors on February 7, 2015

Spotting a Troll Victim

I see it time and again. Someone has their feelings hurt on the internet (or real life). They spend time obsessing or feeling the victim. Often times pleading for sympathy or trying to villianize the offender. While noble, it is not very effective.

An Example Stay Classy Troll Victim

Let’s take a play out of the play book of a famous wise man, James Dalton. Let’s lay down the rules for dealing with these trolls, so we can stop being the victim. People who want to enjoy life won’t tolerate these trolls.

Sound too good?

Rule 1: Never Under Estimate Your Opponent, Expect the Unexpected.

Your offenders will come in all shapes and sizes. They will say and do things that hurt you in ways you can’t currently comprehend. They will cross the line and take another hundred steps. They will be relentless. They will infuriate you. They will involve people you don’t want involved.

Rule 2: Take It Outside. Never Start Anything Inside. Unless You Absolutely Have To.

Don’t take the bait. Keep your incoherent emotional tranmissions to yourself. If you feel like you are going to explode if you don’t respond, that is a great cue to NOT RESPOND. Keep your cool and move the conversation to a place and time where you won’t damage yourself or the things you care about.

Rule 3: Be Nice.

Yeah, that’s right, I said it. Be Nice.

“If someone gets in your face and calls you a cocksucker, I want you to be nice.”

That might sound impossible to do, but think about it. If someone says something to you that isn’t true; why do you let it bother you? If it is true and it bothers you, maybe you need to change something about you, not be mad at the offender. If you struggle with this ask for help.

Remember your offender is only trying to illicit a response. Don’t give them the satisfaction of providing one.

Further Reading

Cover of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

by Mark Manson

A counterintuitive approach to living a good life by focusing on what truly matters and letting go of what doesn't.

Cover of Difficult Conversations

Difficult Conversations

by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton & Sheila Heen

How to discuss what matters most when stakes are high and emotions are stronger.

Cover of The Four Agreements

The Four Agreements

by Don Miguel Ruiz

A practical guide to personal freedom through four simple agreements that transform how we interact with others.

Cover of Emotional Intelligence 2.0

Emotional Intelligence 2.0

by Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves

Strategies for identifying and managing emotions, particularly in challenging interpersonal situations.

Cover of The Courage to Be Disliked

The Courage to Be Disliked

by Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga

How to free yourself, change your life, and achieve happiness through Adlerian psychology principles.