Choose Your Circle Wisely: The Key to Unlocking Greatness and Momentum
By Derek Neighbors on April 30, 2025
Think about the last time you were knocked off your feet.
Who helped you stand back up?
Who reminded you what you’re made of?
Your answer says more than you think.
Your circle isn’t just a backdrop, it’s the engine of your growth.
The people around you influence your mindset, shape your habits, and often determine your trajectory, more than most strategies or plans ever could. And the right ones? They don’t just support you. They sharpen you. They steady you. They accelerate you.
This isn’t a feel good mantra. It’s a high leverage truth.
Why Your Circle Shapes Your Destiny
You don’t rise alone. You rise with your circle, or stall with it.
In a long term Harvard study, researchers found that the strength of your close relationships is the biggest predictor of long term fulfillment, not income, not degrees1. Another study from MIT showed that your core group’s habits, from productivity to ambition, often forecast your own2.
And you’ve seen it. You’ve lived it.
You leave some conversations buzzing with clarity and drive. Others, you walk away emotionally weighed down, second guessing your path. That’s the silent power of alignment, or misalignment.
Success, no matter the domain, rarely happens in isolation.
The founder who stuck through year three because a former boss took every Saturday call.
The teacher who stepped into leadership because a mentor pushed her to speak at one local event.
The parent who found confidence again because a friend encouraged one small risk.
Behind every meaningful leap is an unsung ally behind the scenes.
Whether you’re a student, mid career, launching a second act, or newly retired, your circle might look different, but its influence is universal. It might be family, colleagues, a virtual community, or just one person who sees your potential when you’ve forgotten it yourself.
Spot the Signs
How do you know if someone’s lifting you, or quietly holding you back?
- Do our conversations leave me energized or drained?
- Do they challenge my thinking or validate my excuses?
- Do they celebrate my growth or feel threatened by it?
- Do they encourage progress or enable comfort?
- Do they spark action or normalize coasting?
You don’t need a conflict or confrontation to know it’s not working.
Track how you feel after each interaction this week. Your gut knows the truth.
Three Moves That Change Everything
You don’t need more hours or hustle. Just better alignment.
Move 1: Be What You Seek
Attract the right circle by becoming the right person.
Want accountability? Start owning your mistakes.
Want honesty? Offer it, clearly and kindly.
Want creativity? Share one bold idea a day.
Who you are is a magnet for who you’ll meet.
Move 2: Curate With Intention
Build a circle that reflects where you’re going, not just where you’ve been.
- Lean into the people already in your life who challenge and encourage you
- Join a free online community tied to your craft, values, or goals
- Reach out to someone you admire and ask for a short conversation
- Follow and engage with voices that make you think bigger
Whether you’re in a big city, rural town, raising kids, starting fresh, or working remote, your circle doesn’t have to be big. It just has to be aligned.
Move 3: Distance Without Drama
Not everyone can grow with you, and that’s okay.
- Politely decline commitments that no longer fit
- Redirect your time and energy toward new connections
- Respond slower, show up smaller, and let space create clarity
You don’t need a speech. You don’t need to explain.
Growth speaks for itself.
Ready to Start?
You don’t need to overhaul your life. Just take one intentional step.
- Connect with someone who inspires you. Send a quick thank you or ask one thoughtful question.
- Pause one draining interaction or commitment, even just for a week.
One new connection. One boundary. That’s how momentum builds.
Final Thought
Choose your circle like your life depends on it. Because it does.
The people around you shape your clarity, your courage, your pace.
Build that circle, and you’re not just moving. You’re unstoppable.
Who’s in your circle today—and who needs to be?
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Waldinger, R., & Schulz, M. (2015). The Harvard Study of Adult Development. Harvard Gazette ↩
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Pentland, A. (2014). Social Physics: How Good Ideas Spread—The Lessons from a New Science. Penguin Press. ↩
