The Difference Between Influence and Manipulation

I was listening to an episode of Partnerships & Possibilities a while back and got to thinking about influence and manipulation. Here are some of my thoughts.

The difference between influence, positive persuasion and manipulation.

Manipulation is me trying to get what I need.

Positive Persuasion is trying to help you get what you need while still trying to get what I need.

Influence is me helping you get what you need.

Identifying Manipulation vs. Influence in Leadership

In leadership roles, these distinctions become particularly important. When we manipulate others, we often use tactics like guilt, fear, or emotional leverage to achieve our goals. The focus remains entirely on our desired outcome, with little regard for the impact on others. Manipulative leadership creates temporary compliance but damages trust and relationships in the long term.

Influence, on the other hand, comes from a place of genuine care and interest in others’ success. When we influence, we share knowledge, provide context, and help others make informed decisions that benefit them. The relationship becomes built on mutual respect rather than power dynamics.

Positive persuasion sits in the middle ground—where we acknowledge both our needs and the needs of others. This approach seeks win-win outcomes through honest communication and compromise. It’s about finding the overlap between what you want and what would genuinely benefit the other person.

Practical Application

In your daily interactions, try to notice which approach you’re taking. Are you focusing solely on your goals? Are you considering how you can help others while still meeting your needs? Or are you primarily concerned with supporting others? The awareness alone can transform your leadership effectiveness and the quality of your relationships.

How would you define the differences?